Anger Management Joke!

Go on and read this.. For all those anger freaks....!!

Are you pissed off? Take it out on someone! But don’t take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don’t know!
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I’d forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying “Hello.”
I politely said, “This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?”
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear “Get the right f***ing number!”And the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn’t believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn’s correct number to call her,I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the ‘wrong’ number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled “You’re an ass hole!” and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word ‘ass hole’ next to it, and put it in mydesk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had areally bad day, I’d call him up and yell, “You’re an ass hole!” It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic ‘ass hole’ calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, “Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I’m calling to see if you’re familiar with our Caller ID Program?”
He yelled “NO!” and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, “That’s because you’re an ass hole!” and hung up.
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I’d been waiting for that spot, but the idiotignored me. I noticed a “For Sale” sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first ass hole (I had his number on speed dial),I thought that I’d better call the BMW ass hole, too. I said, “Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?”
He said, “Yes, it is.”
I asked, “Can you tell me where I can see it?”
He said, “Yes, I live at 34 Oak tree Blvd., in Fairfax. It’s a yellow ambler, and the car’s parked right out in front.”
I asked, “What’s your name?”
He said, “My name is Don Hansen,”
I asked, “When’s a good time to catch you, Don?”
He said, “I’m home every evening after five.”
I said, “Listen, Don, can I tell you something?”
He said, “Yes?”
I said, “Don, you’re an ass hole!” and I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.Now when I had a problem, I had two ass holes to call.
Then I came up with an idea. I called ass hole #1. He said, “Hello.”
I said, “You’re an ass hole!” (but I didn’t hang up).
He asked, “Are you still there?”
I said, “Yeah,”He screamed, “Stop calling me,”
I said, “Make me,”
He asked, “Who are you?”
I said, “My name is Don Hansen .” He said, “Yeah? Where do you live?”
I said, “Ass hole, I live at 34 Oak tree Blvd, in Fairfax, a yellow ambler.I have a black Beamer parked in front.”
He said, “I’m coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers.”
I said, “Yeah, like I’m really scared, ass hole,” and hung up.
Then I called Ass hole #2.He said, “Hello?”
I said, “Hello, ass hole,”
He yelled, “If I ever find out who you are…”
I said, “You’ll what?”
He exclaimed, “I’ll kick your ass.”
I answered, “Well, ass hole, here’s your chance. I’m coming over right now.”
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oak tree Blvd, in Fairfax, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.
Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oak tree Blvd. in Fairfax.
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax. I got there just in time to watch two ass holes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.
I feel much better (sigh).Anger management really does work.

The Match.

I was pained today. emotionally. Mumbai Indians lost the match against Rajasthan Royals. It was a match that they had almost won half way through the Royals innings but somehow managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.
Sachin will be out of IPL this year now.
I supported his team all through and in the end they could not hold their nerves. That really made me so sad. I trust myself to perform my best when most needed(call it crunch situation). And when I am supporting someone so wholly and with the heart and when he(I refer to the team as a person here.For me its Sachin=Team.Coz hes the captain) turns out a choker, I feel really let down.
This brings me to the question:
Why should I feel so much for a team? Why should I relate my happiness to someone else's success? And that too when I really have no direct relation there; No personal stake in his success; No contribution I can make and no result I can have a share of.
Why should I get so excited?
One reason could be that I personally think I would have become a Sachin tendulkar if not for studies and parental pressure to pursue reading more than playing... And then in that case that would be MY team playing out there.
One reason for this is that you need to associate yourself to something. Man, by nature, is a social animal. He needs company. Of course groups were initially formed for resource aggregation but, through the ages now, every social animal needs to share its feelings, anger love, hunger, gaiety, anything. But it needs to share. For that it needs to associate itself to some group. A personal group. Could be a family, a class, a friends group, a players group, a city, a state, a country, and many more. It just needs to have something in common. Or some interest in common. In this team's case it is the win which becomes common. When they win you win. You feel great. They lose you lose. You feel bad. You moods are dictated by that teams perfomances. and so it goes on...as long as the team exists or you severe the connection with it.

Another true(and deeper) reason is, I admire Sachin so much and believe in his ability so much, I want him to win.
Now .. Why?? WHy is it that I want him to win?

That is because if he wins my trust in his ability will be vindicated. I get emotional benefit and satisfaction as well as confidence for recognizing and trusting the right ability. And it proves to me that what I recognise as talent is surely talent. So when I recognise something in myself I will trust it to be true and hence it will add to my overall confidence in myself and my abilities.
So things like these really matter.
It applies to almost all people, old guys to kids, everyone.
And this applies also to you and ...me .